oh what you do to me, no one knows.

a few of my favourite films. yeah i'm aware the spacing is dodgy, but i'm too tired to fiddle around.

This is the beat that my heart skipped when we first met
Now that I`ve heard it, it leaves me with a kind of regret
No disrespect but we left a lot of people upset
And what we had wasn`t really what we`d come to expect.

so i have a tumblr account now which i'm already falling in love with. i feel like i'm slightly betraying blogger but not really.

http://reginakelsey.tumblr.com/

i am cold, unfeeling and odd.

It'd be easy to sit here and wallow in hell
Or I could suck it up, get over myself
You see, all hearts are broken
It's no big deal, I've been hurt
But I'm sure you all know how that feels
We all go through it
So why do we do it again?
Is it even worth the awkward anger of trying to be friends?

This year will swallow me whole, it's taking its toll
Queen of horses mad with power, heads will roll
So tenderly you bleed me dry
And I, I collapse to the floor

I've been feeling surprisingly lonely these days
I guess substitutes have an aftertaste
And I hate you for making me feel I could easily be replaced

They say that the coffin can't confine the soul
I'm burying secrets you should've told
This is only a goal you want to achieve so you can be alone

So if I agree, I'm not trying to be mean
It's just cold hard facts
Spare me your sugar coats
Well I could've kept you warmer than that.

shit?

so i managed to use SCHADENFREUDE in my English A level exam the other day, my life is complete. on the other hand this now means i only have Geography left; i sat down earlier to revise and ended up crying for 20 minutes over the geopolitical tensions between Russia and the Ukraine over a gas pipeline. I kid you not.

yay:
1. Darwin Deez is playing at Reading
2. ADAM GREEN IS PLAYING AGAIN AT READING... seeing him in 2008 was one of the best moments of my life, ever.
3. Freelance Whales are playing at Reading
4. Yuck are playing at Reading
5. The Cheek (Cheeky Cheeky & The Nosebleeds) are playing at Reading
6. I had some chicken earlier
7. The weather was nice today
8. I have finished both Philosophy & Ethics and English A levels
9. In approximately two weeks I will be free of schooling, forever (except for potential gap yah and retakes but we don't mention this).

nay:
1. I have two Geography A2 exams within the space of two weeks, which are possibly the hardest things i've ever had to do in my life
2. I think i'm putting on weight
3. I've broken out in a delicious combination of stress acne and red dry patches of skin
4. It's Ascot week - the worst week of the year when you live in the area, srsly.
5. I'm craving Cat
6. I'm craving A cat, we haven't got another one yet and i need some pussy lovin' (eh)
7. my hair is neglected

i am frantically flailing, woozy inhaling these fumes that won't put me to sleep.

I like words.

1. flail - to move vigorously or erratically, to thrash about.
2. sporadic - recurring in scattered and irregular or unpredictable instances
3. prelapsarian - relating to the time before the Fall of Adam and Eve
4. antagonism - a state of deep seated ill will.

and my personal favourite

5. SCHADENFREUDE - enjoying the misery of others, taking delight in the misfortune of others.

cause i'm not good at saying things, especially to you

Plans for the summer:
1. Get a job
2. Go and stay in a caravan somewhere lovely with Cat and her lovely jubbly friends
3. Go to at least one Gay Pride (preferably London or Brighton)
4. Go to London Zoo
5. Make approximately five/six bottles of skittles vodka with Sophia (one for every flavour)
6. Write a song with Katy and record a music video a la Julia Nunes 'Maybe I Will'
7. Dye my hair a ridiculous colour
8. Get another piercing
9. Buy more clothes/ shoes (serious, i don't have enough).
10. Sort out stuff/ pack for uni (ahh!)
11. Go to a strip club
12. Go to Camden numerous times
13. Go to Mandela Court with Sophia ;D aha
14. Blow shit up.
15. Go to Reading festival, see a shitload of bands and maintain a state of being fucked for the whole three days.

Well the way you pull the fuzzys from my sweater
doesn't make up for the times you let me sink into the floor
and the lies you told to make me feel all better
they didn't work so please don't tell me anymore

I'm waking up to see the sun
it's a light that lets me know a new day's begun
and I can leave behind the terrors of my unconscious mind
into the sunshine

tell me this, why do you run away
just when I decided to say something true for once
you should try it, just say what you mean
cause I can't read the lines let alone in between

and I know my mellow tone can be misleading
but I've just put my anger to good use
you see I've given up on begging and pleading
every scratch on this guitar is because of you.

32's still a godamn number, 32 still counts.

so despite parking in space number 32 at school and getting 32 pence change at the supermarket AND drinking a red bull which has 32mg of caffeine per 100ml, yesterday was shit.
yeah, revising from 9am to 6pm three days in a row can't be healthy for any human being. so today, despite the fact that my exam is TOMORROW, i'm gonna chill out a bit.

and this deserves a post all of it's own

some people think i'm bonkers, but i just think i'm free

a few more of the frivolities; as much as i complained about it, i godamn loved that school and i think we made a cracking exit :D

you know, taken out of context i must seem so strange

oh, i'm going to miss school. on the plus side i've done a surprisingly substantial amount of revison over the past week or so; i think i've finally realised that
a) this is the most important time of my life so far
b) if i'm going to get where i want i need to put in some serious elbow grease
c) it is highly unlikely that i'm going to get 3 As unless i produce the afore mentioned elbow grease
d) i really, really, really want to go to university in october.
well better late then never eh? i was in school from 9 until 6 today, and i plan to continue this until my exams are over :)

you know i'd like to keep my cheeks dry today

1. I now only have two days left of school, ever.
2. I'm super excited about muck up day on Friday; it's cowboys and indians themed and we're going to have bales of hay on the field and a huge totem pole in the hall and loads of posters everywhere saying things like WELCOME TO THE DEEP SOUTH and GO WHERE THE WIND TAKES YOU and THIS TOWN AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US and cowboy hats on all the Mary statues and a huge sign saying BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN replacig the Marist school sign :D. and we're covering an entire corridor in aluminium foil just for the hell of it, and we're going to have HOEDOWNS randomly in the middle of the day and cowboy fights and stuff. i'm a red indian and i made a super duper feathery headress today.
3. I spent most of the day today sitting in the canteen painting signs for afore mentioned muck up day - it was relaxing and chill.
4. my hair is looking good
5. I found a fiver last night which literally NEVER happens to me
6. did i mention i only have two days of school left ever?




I know i'm young but if i had to choose her or the sun
I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun.

Did you take the rhythm from me? Yesterday I had it all. On Sunday you're gonna take me back.

I need to go, I need to get away from everything
I'll have to run to get away from here
I need to go, I need to get away from everything
Just for a while, I need to get away from here

And so we slowly slowly climbed over a ladder with no other side
And so I'll plead with you one last time, just to consider my point of view
The path on which you walk will never fail to keep you safe
But it will crumble underneath me, minus you.

The NME stage is looking boom ting for Reading this year.

isn't it messed up how i'm just dying to be him?

And i'm losing my favourite game, you're losing your mind again.

My procrastination has impressed me somewhat today. I have:
1. washed my hair
2. tidied my room
3. arranged my dvds by genre
4. painted my nails
5. made 24 mix cds
6. labelled and decorated said mix cds
7. helped mum make dinner
8. earned 15,000 points on neopets.

however I have not revised for the philosophy mocks i have next week, or done the english essay due in tomorrow, or done the immense amounts of geography research due for tuesday, or revised for the vague but fast approaching A level exams.

I feel so numb, so swept aside

and everytime it's raining, you're the one to blame.

Why'd you have to get so hysterical?

yes i am aware that the dates are in funny positions but they refuse to coordinate and i've given up :)

1992, age 1

1994, age 2

1995, age 3

1996, age 4

1997, age 5
















2003, age 11

2005, age 13

2006, age 14

2007, age 15

april 2008, age 16

august 2008, age 16

2008, age 17

2009, age 17

2010, age 18.

Before you left to go away
I wrote down what i couldn't say
I bet you read it on the road
With foggy lights and fingers cool

Now you drove so far but now you know
How rough it is to let me go
And let me recommend that you think twice
And i always give the best advice

Now come on back to where you know i'll be
Lets' go sit under the apple tree
You can floor that thing, let the engine roar
The wheels they'll spin, the rain it pours

And there's regret that you feel
About the choice you've made
You'll just have to deal
Before it goes away
You ask me how i feel
And here's what i'll say that
I'm doing fine, just fine
I'm doing fine.

am i more than you bargained for yet?

This weekend so far has shown me that:
1. i'm more of an attention seeker than i thought i was
2. i want a lover with a beautiful house (but not Anna)
3. i always say i like rain more than sunshine but i'm not sure that's entirely true anymore
4. i like still lemonade more than fizzy lemonade
5. i need more clothes.

This has been said so many times that i'm not sure if it matters.

i want to marry this guy.