oh i'm hoping you'll understand, and not let go of my hand

Today I woke up at 10:30, threw on some clothes and walked to Library Square where I met Triston who had just come out of an exam - we had a cigarette and waited until Eleanor turned up and then we walked to our new house in Coldean which took about half an hour. I was very very excited to see the house and it didn't disappoint; decent sized bedrooms, squishy sofas, nice garden, etc. Walked back, met Charlie at the bus stop and went straight into town. Bought a load of random crap I didn't need like some more nail varnish and a pretty notebook and a pen (actually I kind of needed the pen) and a Nandos meal (extra hot chicken pitta, chips and coleslaw, can't go wrong). I also got my lip pierced, and I was weirdly more nervous about it than I've ever been about any piercing before - probably because it really was an impulse decision and because I anticipated a lot of pain (which I was kind of right about, still not as bad as my anti tragus though). then I realised that Triston would probably be kinda angry cause I hadn't told him beforehand and cause he really wants a lip piercing and cause he's always said that one wouldn't suit me, so I went to Ann Summers and bought some sexy underwear with which to reconcile with him.

Errr then I came home and partook in some illegal activity and then realised I have an exam tomorrow at 9:30am so I read the rest of The Great Gatsby which I'm being examined on and had a nap and now I'm in a public computer room on campus eating a tuna sandwich with some difficulty because of aforementioned lip piercing.

I'm also being examined on this guy tomorrow which is quite nice because I love love love love him.

ANIMALS


Have you forgotten what we were like then
when we were still first rate
and the day came fat with an apple in its mouth

it's no use worrying about Time
but we did have a few tricks up our sleeves
and turned some sharp corners

the whole pasture looked like our meal
we didn't need speedometers
we could manage cocktails out of ice and water

I wouldn't want to be faster
or greener than now if you were with me O you
were the best of all my days
- Frank O Hara

she looks like the real thing, she tastes like the real thing

One more exam to go, one more exam to go, one more exam to go. Then Cat and end of term parties and frolicking and lovely lovely Brighton all to myself. YAY. I'm well into Radiohead right now.

and I will learn to cook for you, that's one thing that I plan to do

i'm coming up only to hold you under

I want more soul making moments in life, like when a group of us were sitting on Charlie's bed and spontaneously started singing Animal by Miike Snow or when I had that long catch up with Alex Kirkham or when I saw a man die in a Hungarian tube station or when I drive Cat and her friends to college or when I eat food in public and then spit it out laughing or when food doesn't mean that much to me (which only happens very occasionally like when I'm on amphetamines or when I get jealous) or when I'm at a festival or when Triston tells me beautiful incredible things about life and love without even realising it or when I get drunk with my family or when I get nauseous because I'm so angry or yesterday when I found out that both of my great grandmothers committed suicide by sticking their heads in gas ovens.
I also found out that I'm one sixteenth Jewish, so that's nice I suppose. It's incredible how much of the time I feel like I don't know what's going on, or who I really am or what I'm doing in life - and I think the more of these moments the better because they make me feel more real and more wanted and more living.

in your eyes I see the eyes of somebody I knew before, long long long ago.