So the last couple of weeks have been interesting; my anxiety has blown through the roof and my general sadness is probably at its most dangerous. I got scarily sad a few days ago, as in vaguely contemplating finding the bridge near Coldean that runs over the A27... not jumping, but sitting on the railings and contemplating life until Triston came and found me. Instead I walked to campus in the hope of either finding this patch of bluebells in the woods that Triston and I visit every year and make me so ruddy happy, or at least finding the bench at the top of the hill behind campus and sitting there to contemplate.
Anyway, I found neither of these things but got scared and panicky as it was dark and cold and raining but luckily Tristy phoned me because he had just got home and was panicking because I wasn't there. He came and found me and we swung on the swings on campus and then walked me home in the pouring rain, which despite my internal emotional trauma was really, really romantic.
I don't know, it comes and goes in waves. Today I'm happy, and I guess that's all that matters for now.
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