when paper meets the ink, over thinking is the chink in my armour

Drove to Brighton pretty spur of the moment yesterday morning and it was the best decision EVER. Got to Jordann, Loxham and Pom's new house right next to Sainsburys which is where Triston is staying right now, had a cup of tea and a fag and a catch up. Then Triston and I walked into town where we bought some food, ciders and beers and sat on the beach where it was stupidly lovely weather. Later on Holly, Richie, Pike, Eric, Emily B and her boyfriend, Will and Christie joined us and it was so nice because I had no idea there were still that many people in Brighton. I went swimming in the sea in my underwear with Holly and it was SO liberating and lovely.

In the evening Triston and I stayed in with Loxham and Jordann and drank a lot and played video games, and then had quiet sneaky sex on the blow up mattress on their living room (shh Laura Ellis, I definitely NEVER mention sex in my blog!).

bury me with the friends i've lost

home tomorrow :)

time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go

I have a huge Julia Nunes fetish right now, no word of a lie. I'm also quite concerned for my bestest friend in the whole world and wish her a speedy recovery - *virtual warm fuzzy feelings*. I really want my purse back from Brighton so that I can start buying/ ordering beautiful Christmassy related gifts and whatnot.

i just can't look, it's killing me

Happy as a happy thing :) Alex Jordan's coming to visit tomorrow during the day if he passes his driving test; Katy, Rosie and Sarah are coming in the evening for chilli con carne and Mean Girls, and on Tuesday none other than that lovely lovely boy is coming to stay for a couple of days.

As a side note, mega kudos to Julia Nunes for making an 'N Sync song sound cool.

i am cold, unfeeling and odd.

It'd be easy to sit here and wallow in hell
Or I could suck it up, get over myself
You see, all hearts are broken
It's no big deal, I've been hurt
But I'm sure you all know how that feels
We all go through it
So why do we do it again?
Is it even worth the awkward anger of trying to be friends?

This year will swallow me whole, it's taking its toll
Queen of horses mad with power, heads will roll
So tenderly you bleed me dry
And I, I collapse to the floor

I've been feeling surprisingly lonely these days
I guess substitutes have an aftertaste
And I hate you for making me feel I could easily be replaced

They say that the coffin can't confine the soul
I'm burying secrets you should've told
This is only a goal you want to achieve so you can be alone

So if I agree, I'm not trying to be mean
It's just cold hard facts
Spare me your sugar coats
Well I could've kept you warmer than that.

i am frantically flailing, woozy inhaling these fumes that won't put me to sleep.

I like words.

1. flail - to move vigorously or erratically, to thrash about.
2. sporadic - recurring in scattered and irregular or unpredictable instances
3. prelapsarian - relating to the time before the Fall of Adam and Eve
4. antagonism - a state of deep seated ill will.

and my personal favourite

5. SCHADENFREUDE - enjoying the misery of others, taking delight in the misfortune of others.

cause i'm not good at saying things, especially to you

Plans for the summer:
1. Get a job
2. Go and stay in a caravan somewhere lovely with Cat and her lovely jubbly friends
3. Go to at least one Gay Pride (preferably London or Brighton)
4. Go to London Zoo
5. Make approximately five/six bottles of skittles vodka with Sophia (one for every flavour)
6. Write a song with Katy and record a music video a la Julia Nunes 'Maybe I Will'
7. Dye my hair a ridiculous colour
8. Get another piercing
9. Buy more clothes/ shoes (serious, i don't have enough).
10. Sort out stuff/ pack for uni (ahh!)
11. Go to a strip club
12. Go to Camden numerous times
13. Go to Mandela Court with Sophia ;D aha
14. Blow shit up.
15. Go to Reading festival, see a shitload of bands and maintain a state of being fucked for the whole three days.

Well the way you pull the fuzzys from my sweater
doesn't make up for the times you let me sink into the floor
and the lies you told to make me feel all better
they didn't work so please don't tell me anymore

I'm waking up to see the sun
it's a light that lets me know a new day's begun
and I can leave behind the terrors of my unconscious mind
into the sunshine

tell me this, why do you run away
just when I decided to say something true for once
you should try it, just say what you mean
cause I can't read the lines let alone in between

and I know my mellow tone can be misleading
but I've just put my anger to good use
you see I've given up on begging and pleading
every scratch on this guitar is because of you.