These are the reasons why i think my mother is secretly bisexual/gay:
1) she dated a woman at university
2) she was part of a predominantly gay and lesbian dance troop who dressed up in neon hotpants and feathers and danced through London during Gay Pride week
3) she somehow got my sister a part-time job at the leading gay and lesbian hairdressers in Soho
4) on her facebook it says she is interested in men and women
These are the reasons why i think my father is secretly bisexual/gay:
1) he drinks mineral water and exotic juices.
2) he plays squash
3) he doesn't like beer, football or rugby (or in fact any sport, except squash)
4) he dresses well
5) he doesn't flinch when i ask him to buy me tampons
6) he cooks and cleans more than any normal heterosexual man should
7) when i complained about the dryness of my skin the other day, he said 'i get that too sometimes, you just need to exfoliate and moisturise twice a week'
and they dare question the reasons for my sexuality confusion?!?! jesus christ. at dinner today i asked my mum if she thought i was odd; she said 'yes, but it doesn't matter'. Then there was an awkward silence, and she said 'you just... march to a different tune, but it's okay because you're very warm'.
warm? WARM?! what the hell does that even mean, oh dear and good grief and also mon dieu.
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