Bah, last night wasn't very fun in the end. Got nice and drunky and druggy at big house for pike's birthday, then went to Volks but the queue was ridiculous so ended up at Concorde (completely forgetting it was a star wars themed night, which if everything had turned out okay probably would have been hilarious). Triston couldn't get in cause the bouncer said he was too fucked, which I hadn't really noticed up until then but then realised that he could barely string a sentence together and had the scariest fucked eyes I've ever seen on him.
The girls insisted I went in without him and he'd be fine, so I paid a fiver to get in but even within the first 10 minutes I wasn't enjoying myself at all cause all I could do was worry about him and what he was doing. Went and had a cigarette and a weep on Lizzy, who said that if I really thought he couldn't get home on his own and I wasn't going to have a good time anyway, I should take him home. So Tess came with me to find him, agreed that he needed someone with him, so I left.
Getting him home was okay, probably because I didn't want to have to deal with him on a bus and so paid 12 quid for a taxi, but it got us home super quickly. Got the majority of his clothes off and put him to bed (his bed), and thought everything would be fine, but at some point he woke up and came into my room and really pissed me off/ kinda freaked me out because he just wouldn't leave. I tried to explain multiple times that I loved him but I didn't want to have to look after him any more tonight, and if he loved and respected me he'd go back to his room and go to bed and I'd talk to him in the morning cause I just needed some peace and quiet. After each explanation he'd say 'yes okay okay, I will' to which I'd say '.. now, Triston, I want you to go now', to which he'd reply with something completely incomprehensible, or half started sentences like 'you seem to think that..' or 'because I...' and then look at me for an answer as if he'd said the whole thing, or (most frustratingly at all) 'just chill out, sophie, sophie, just calm down, don't worry', but then he still wouldn't fucking leave.
In the end I threatened to go downstairs and get Butch to come up and make him leave me alone, and only when I was halfway down the stairs I heard him say 'fuck this' and go back into his room.
I watched glee for a few hours, slept from 6am to around 8:30am, then went to the post office to post the paperwork for the house next year (finally) and now I don't know. I just swear to god he'd better treat me like royalty today, but I know he won't and I know he'll try to deny being that fucked/ being incomprehensible/ upsetting and scaring me because he's too fucking proud for his own good.
I wasted 18 quid on that boy last night, plus the mandy we'd been saving for ages for a big night, plus an awesome night out with pretty much all our close friends. I know deep down that it was the right thing to do because there's no way he would have gotten home by himself, and he would have got bored waiting outside Concorde eventually and wandered off, but right now I really wish I had just left him there.
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