you almost encourage my happiness, but i know best

i've been a fool before, wouldn't like to get my love caught in the slammin' door

men who could quite possibly turn me straight:

i know i have two of damon albarn, but he's immense and all.

you wrote your number on my hand but it came off in the rain

my new favourite to win, i think :) either this girl or this girl:

if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?

i would kill for sheryl crow's voice, no joke.

it's times like this i think too much.

My face has turned red

But it's not from something you just said

Oh I'm blushing on the inside

It's those damn green eyes

And panel by panel and piece by piece this all fits together but its not what you think

Oh there I go again

But you're listening to every word I say

and I'm trying not to give it away

I like to keep my cards so close

You like to keep that console on

And all my broken hearts and all my forgettable false starts

well you can have them right now

but you better not look away

You can have 'em right now but you better not look away

this is me tying to be brave.

i wish that just for one day, everyone would say exactly what they wanted to say.

enlighten me please, anyone who tries to deny you must be out of their minds. it seems i've stepped over lines you've drawn again and again but it was an honest mistake. i'm sitting out dances on the wall trying to forget everything that isn't you and i guess this is growing up. it's the wrong kind of place to be cheating on you and you were on my mind at least nine tenths of yesterday. i don't know what to say except fuck you; she doesn't deserve to be in a place like this, she's as pretty as a car crash. i thought i'd cry for you forever, but i couldn't so i didn't. nobody likes me baby if i cry. i won't regret saying these things that i'm saying, maybe it sounds mean but i really don't think so - you asked for the truth and i told you. the truth hurts worse than anything i could bring myself to say to you. i know i said i loved you but i'm thinking i was wrong and i'm the first to admit that i'm still pretty young. tell me that you love me like you think you want to be loved, baby that's just me. broken hearts hurt but they make us strong, everyone says you've just got to let it go. i'm not saying it was your faul but you know you could have done more. every time that we meet i skip a heart beat, i'm wishing my life away with these things i'll never say. i cried so hard that you pushed me further away, you've won me over in spite of me but i won't fall down, won't succumb to your vicious ways and you can push me out a window but i'll get right back up. don't let people make you think that just because you're young you're useless, although i said i hate you but i'd never change a thing. i'd swim the ocean for you, maybe together we could get somewhere. do you realise that when you are young the things you take seriously mean nothing at all, oh in five years time you might just prove me wrong. let's not forget what happened in the past, this shit's making me crazy. raindrops are falling on my head but that doesn't mean that i am dead. i'll be waiting in line just to see if you care, cause this love is all i have to give and maybe that's what it takes for me to be with you. yes i've been broken hearted, blue since the day we parted. how do you know when to let go, i want passion in my eyes and when i wake up i want life to be a surprise. i don't believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now, and love just like blood will always stain.
i look in your direction but you pay me no attention, don't you know that i belong arm in arm with you baby? nothing compares to a quiet evening alone but i could use someone like you. she doesn't love me but she keeps me company, everything's alright. i don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you. i feel like i wouldn't like me if i met me, but she's elecrtic. she took me down and said girls like you are over-rated so save your breath. what can i do but wallow in you unintentionally? i tried to do handstands for you but everytime i fell on you; i'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you. if love is just a game then how come i've never won? if love is just a game, why is it no fun? i've learnt that the best way to get along with love is to love the other person slightly less than you get in return; take all the courage you have left, wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head. we are human after all.

i'm a burning effigy of everything i used to be

^__^ aw man, i would so go straight for a bit of robbie.
















er, going to france tomorrow which is all fun larks except not really.

i smoke and i drink and everytime i blink i have a tiny dream

reasons why life is good:
1) my hair is no longer ginger
2) i have the snuggliest ABERCROMBIE & FITCH hoody; it's the first designer thing i think i've ever owned, and it's buff
3) we have a shitload of chinese food at my house
4) i have £54 in my bank account
5) it's half term

reasons why life is bad:
1) i keep getting awful mood swings where i laugh hysterically at the smallest thing, and then weep over nothing in the space of about half an hour
2) the new skins is rubbish and it makes me die a little bit inside
3) i have no valentine
4) i've put on a ton of weight
5) there's no super good music around.

tremble little lion man, you'll never settle any of your scores.

i've just had a massive wave of 'i really, really don't want to be me anymore' and idk why, i never get this ever.

believe me, you're lying

an attempt to explain my life right now in a series of abstract but majorly related (ish) treats:


















What I want from you
Is empty your head
They say be true
Don't stain your bed
We do what we need to be free
And it leans on me
Like a rootless tree

What I want from us
Is empty our minds
We fake a fuss
And fracture the times
We go blind
When we've needed to see
And it leans on me
Like a rootless...

So fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all we've been through
I said leave it, leave it, leave it
It's nothing to you
And if you hate me, hate me, hate me
Then hate me so good that you can let me out
Let me out of this hell when you're around
Let me out, let me out,
Let me out of this hell when you're around
Let me out, let me out.

we're over, it's done, you've hit the homerun.

=) i don't really have a lot to say but i feel like rambling. my fingers are cold and i found a super nice purse the other day; whenever anybody mentions anna i feel like i'm about to throw up and i'm pissed off that ben hasn't replied to my facebook message cause it took all the fucking good will i had to send it.
i quite want to look like ani difranco ish. my english coursework is due in tomorrow and i haven't done much but i'm suprisingly un-worried. actually it's not that suprising, i don't worry about much at all and it's both an advantage and the probable root of my entire shit-ness.

an eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

:) i like parties and alcohol and kisses and cuddles, not so much anna campbell and her big fat lies though.

you can thank your lucky stars that everything i wish for will never come true

some things i'd like to change:
1) the way i look
2) the way others perceive me
3) the school i go to
4) people's attitudes to homosexuality (the negative or stereotyped ones)
5) my mother's eating habits
6) my panic attacks
7) the way i act when i'm upset/ in pain
8) global food insecurity
9) the increasing growth in biofuels (it's BAD)
10) subsidies and tariffs
11) inequality
12) racism/ prejudice
13) narrow mindedness
14) my singing/dancing/art skills
15) parts of my childhood/adolescence
16) the way i deal with relationships
17) snobbery
18) childrens' attitudes to reading (i'd make it fun and exciting!)
19) my sexuality

today i've learnt that smoking two marlboro menthols and drinking a can of coke makes me sick, and that katy is amazing at washing hair and all about free trading zones and neo-liberalism and that Othello was about 40 years older than Desdemona and that my legs look thinner in leggings than jeans and that BLINK 182 MIGHT PLAY AT READING THIS YEAR.

um yeah, i have new hair and it's purpley reddish brown and SILKY SMOOTH thanks to katy's afore mentioned hair washing skills :D.