hey, things won't be strange any day now.

i think my life is turning into a sitcom again - today has been very surreal so far and it's only 11am.

i got to Ascot station at about 8am, and sat on the platform with all the business men and women. There was a girl next to me stirring her coffee, and a man riding a bicycle that was squeaking, and something clicking inside the ticket office and it was weirdly all in sync and formed a sort of beat... and i actually convinced myself that everybody was going to suddenly burst into song and do jazz hands up and down the platform; but they didn't :(

then i got onto the train and i was sitting behind a really really sad lady and a man who i think was her psychiatrist, cause she was talking about how low she's been feeling and how she thinks that everyone stares at her and are plotting against her, and he was going 'mhmm, mhmm' and writing things down and he kinda looked like Dr Finch from Running With Scissors so that was pretty cool.

then i got to camberly and i got a bit lost so i phoned laura who told me where to go; and i buzzed the buzzer of Church House but nobody answered, but then a mexican man came up to me and punched in the pin number and let me in and we went into a really empty entrance foyer with nothing but a few chairs and a coffee table and a fire alarm. and i said 'where's the theory test room?' and he pointed to a door and said 'there but eez not open yet' so i said thank you and sat down and he went through another door.

i listened to adam green a lot and sang for a while, and then i realised that my theory test was meant to start in 5 minutes but nobody had turned up yet. so i looked at the confirmation letter... and realised that it was yesterday. YESTERDAY.

so then i left and did a bit of shopping, and got a train home. and on the train this time i was in a carriage with a really, really loud chinese man on his mobile who was literally yelling in chinese the whole way; there was a fat blonde guy next to me muttering under his breath 'shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up' and a girl in bright pink trousers and a red coat in front of me laughing away to herself, and it was a bit special.

then i got to the station and walked to south ascot newsagents and bought some food and ting, and i saw some girl in year 11 at the marist who grinned and waved at me but i wasn't sure who she was so i walked away. THEN on the way home there was a dead frog lying in the middle of the pavement; it really confused me cause there were no ponds or anything nearby and i couldn't understand how it came to be there, and it made me think of Magnolia and i was like SHIT AM I IN MAGNOLIA?!!!! and i expected it to suddenly rain frogs... but it didn't.

um, and now i'm home.

i watched The Silence Of The Lambs with my mumma last night cause i had never seen it before and i really liked it.

it had jodie foster in it too, which is ALWAYS a bonus.

they say it's puppy love; we say it's full grown.

'You need not to find a cure for everything that makes you weak. You need not to reach for the stars when life becomes so dark and when the wind does blow against the grain, you must follow your heart.'

so today's been okay; i went to the seaside with my parents and we listened to pink floyd in the car on the way there, and we put down flowers for my grand-parents in the cemetery in Melplash. i always get really upset when i see graves that obviously haven't been visited in a long time, so i usually end up clearing the grass and dirt and dust off strangers' graves... it makes me feel peaceful :)

'where would we be without our painful childhoods?'

i got into a really bad mood last night, one of the worst moods i've had in ages. i snapped at kitty a little bit but i didn't mean to and i'm not sure what got into me, i guess maybe i just needed a bit of a ARGHH.

''can't repeat the past?' he cried incredulously. 'why of course you can!'

i had to study The Great Gatsby for my English AS that i did on wednesday; i only really got into the book a couple of nights before the exam, i had sort of disregarded it before then and i wish i hadn't.

i want:

1. darker hair

2. a chin piercing

3. intensive conditioner that smells like papaya

4. to stop being so schizo

5. a BIG ipod

6. to know everything about everything

7. more time.

'some places are like people: some shine and some don't.'

i watched The Shining for the first time the other day; i got really excited cause i didn't realise that's what the 30 Seconds To Mars music video for The Kill was based on, and i found it quite clever and cool.